Does your partner live in the past, present, or future?
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Just because something is important to you at a particular time, don’t assume it’s also important to your partner at that very moment. We’ve all been shaped by our experiences, and while it can seem that two people diving into a new relationship are in the same place, sometimes that can differ greatly based on circumstances. That’s why as you build a life together, knowing your partner’s natural frame of mind around how they view time and planning will be a valuable key to avoiding potentially frustrating conversations down the road.
For example: Let’s say you read a great online article about how vacation homes are all the rage, and you think how lovely it would be to buy one since you’ve been dreaming of living by the water since you were a kid. Knowing you aren’t married (or even own your own home yet), it would be unreasonable to think that you could buy a vacation home now, so you turn to your partner sitting beside you on the couch and say, “How do you feel about buying a vacation home in 10 years?” He’s caught off guard by the question, because 30 seconds earlier he was trying to figure out how to pay off his student loans and get out of debt. Seeing your enthusiasm, he tries to engage…but with the distraction of his current predicament…
